Too many ‘daily-habits’

We don’t often hear about successful people making mistakes. Few people admit the struggles they face, whilst they face them. Far be it from me to make this blog another example of someone who has it all together.

I’m going to do some thinking “out loud” in this post. See if it helps me come up with some solutions.

The Problem: I feel as though I have too many daily-habits and things that I expect of myself to achieve/get done. For some reason, perhaps because of being overwhelmed, or even because of a fear of being overwhelmed…I’m doing less than what I was previously. Even bed-rock habits (those I’ve been doing consistently for years) are being missed.

The Question: So what is it that I feel I have to achieve/get done on a daily basis? [Clarify – someone wise once said we ‘fear what we don’t understand’ – so let’s try and be specific]

  1. Bible Read Through (a book of the Bible a week/3-4 chapters/day, 20mins)
  2. Journaling (10-20mins)
  3. Exercise (45-60min 3/week)
  4. Running (60-90mins 2/week)
  5. Bible Study (around 30 mins)
  6. Other Study projects (Spurgeon‘s Lectures, Greek, Writing 45mins)
  7. Blogging (?…not enough experience, roughly 45mins/post)
  8. Book Work – Editing (45min chunks)
  9. Creating Resources (45mins)

In all that works out as: 220+90=310mins a day = 5+hours….on top of that I have a full time job and people I’m discipling/meeting with.

Okay, that is an unreasonable expectation.

The Next Question: Clarifying ‘why’ I “need” to do each of those a) so regularly b) at all.

  1. Bible Read Through (a book of the Bible a week/3-4 chapters/day, 20mins) Part of my dynamic relationship with God, a means by which I encourage others to pursue God’s heart through a resolved and deliberate attitude towards the church..
  2. Journaling (10-20mins) Part of my relationship with God and the foundation for how I carry out the various offices of my life.
  3. Exercise (45-60min 3/week) My life’s example to encourage and inspire others to pursue God’s heart + health reasons
  4. Running (60-90mins 2/week) Ibid.
  5. Bible Study (around 30 mins) Maintaining a posture of receptivity and learning, wise stewardship of the gifts God has given me including teaching, also part of my relationship with God.
  6. Other Study projects (Spurgeon‘s Lectures, Greek, Writing 45mins) Ibid
  7. Blogging (?…not enough experience, roughly 45mins/post) Stewardship, a posture of vulnerability, lays a foundation for future book work, practice writing skills
  8. Book Work – Editing (45min chunks) Ibid
  9. Creating Resources (45mins) Ibid

Not entirely helpful. But what I did notice is that there is a lot I am doing to teach others. Since aiming for more than I can handle is resulting in doing less than I can handle…I will reduce.

Work in progress – list:

  1. BRT
  2. Journaling
  3. Exercise/Running
  4. Bible Study
  5. Blogging
  6. Book Work

New total: 40+60+90+45=190+45=235 … still not convinced its realistic….

Blogging and Bible Study…What if, blogging becomes an evening activity “when I feel like it” and Bible Study is done intensely one-two slots each week? That sounds more workable.

So new total: 145mins roughly each day = roughly 2.5hrs…= totally manageable. I wake at 5, finished by 7.30.

Daily Habits: BRT – Journaling – Exercise/Running – Book work

And I can over invest in one of those tasks each day by half an hour or so, rather than try and cram in more.

Weekly Habits: Ad hoc blogging (sorry readers!) and 2/week intense Bible Study sessions.

Brilliant, the way is clear. Will review after a week.

Identification with Christ

One of the things I feel being lead into at the moment, in my walking with God, is the theme of identification with Christ. I feel I have only scratched the surface and so this post won’t do justice to the work I think God wants to do in me.

It was a couple of weeks back when I started reading New Seeds of Contemplation by Thomas Merton. In it he talks about ‘contemplation’ as this mysterious state where it is no longer ‘I’ who live but Christ who lives in me.

My heart throbbed upon reading that.

I’m only a couple of chapters into Merton’s book and still have a lot to learn (it’s one of my slow reflective reads).

And then I was on a walk recently, listening to an audiobook by Watchman Nee ‘The Spiritual Man’. Which had been recommended by a man whose walk with God captivated me in my teenage years. He’d recommended this book to me years back, and I’ve tried on multiple occasions to read the book. And I never made it through the first third.

Not finishing a book is really really weird for me! I usually read over 52 books each year. Most books I start, even if they’re really bad, I finish! And yet, it’s been at least five years since I was recommended the ‘Spiritual Man’. I’d bought myself the paperback, and failed to finish several times, got the audiobook and failed to finish.

But here I am, in a season of my life where I feel God is nudging me towards praying about this theme. To experience and know-deeply, the truth that my ‘self’ is hidden in Christ. And I (almost) randomly put this audiobook on, to accompany my walk one day. It ‘picks up where I left off’ and… BAM!

He’s talking about it too! Living by the Spirit and not by the flesh. Living by the regenerated, new nature and not by the ‘soulish’ intellect, emotions and volition.

It makes me think that God’s been preparing me for this season to teach me something new. Maybe it will sink in this time.

I’m a little nervous, it feels like I’ve got some ‘dying to self’ to do. And I’m scared. What will I have to give up. What will I have to lose. Can I really go on without looking back?

My hope is that God who has started this work in me will lead me through it. I remind myself that my God is good, He cares for me and loves me. Where He asks me to die, I must trust that He will raise renewed.

Anyway, here’s a slightly less coherent blog post than usual. Just what’s going on in my walk with God.